GUEST POST: Angella Scintilla Haloumni on 10 dos and don’ts for new bloggers

Angella Haloumni is one of the most original voices in cyberspace. She’s a good friend and longstanding hand-holder to me in my slow first steps into what is very much her world despite the fact that English is not her first language. I am delighted that she has agreed to guest on my blog with a post of dos and don’ts for new bloggers.

Why not blog

  1. Really darlings just don’t do it, okay? The blogosphere is crowd, you know I mean? So Much Words and really darlings  mostly – I can’t say what is mostly. Or I can, if you call me up and I could whisper the words but I am not giving number. Sorry. No offence really darlings.
  2. So okay you’re ignoring my first piece advice. It’s not  great start. Even I can’t to tell you what to do and sure sure sure it little hypocritical to stop you doing what thing I do myself me. And really darlings no one want to look like anything beginning hypo, you know I mean.
  3. So, blogging. Have good name. Sorry, Cathy, you are nice lady, but writeanovelin10minutesfat is not so good. Call me, we can discuss. So I can whisper the words. No just joke! But name is bad. Serious.
  4. But have good name. Really darlings. How hard this can be? Even all strange wierdos can have easy, cool names. Try something like my blog. In English this is CountingUpNewTypings.Com. This is triple ‘l’  brillliant name because it encompas my theory and philophy of our world. So, only peoples wishing to know CountingUpNewTypings will visit and take energies from my careful select words. This can help with Searching Engine Optimism.
  5. Contents. This not necessary. Readers can know what they are reading from reading. Who is needing a table? Especially now with Kindles and so the rest.
  6. Stuff you write. Don’t write your life. Who care you researching atomics or having information about curing cancers? It is thoughts which is matter. Just thoughts. You see a beautiful sun (don’t look, your eyes will be hurt) but when you see sideways the beautiful sun, just write that it look like God above send his angels down in pink polysowester dresses for making complex dance. That how it go. See?
  7. No pictures. You can do Pin-boring. Go! Go there. Leave to expert thinkkers the words.
  8. When you are taking my picture it’s like you are killing me. It is dead thing and one day I will be dead. This makes me cry and is bumming me.
  9. Don’t speak with peoples leaving comets. Who are they? What do they know? Probably they are bored prize-winning writers who maybe know how to sleep in beds with journalisms. They need lesson that not every single word coming out their brains and other places can have attentions. Your thoughts are your thoughts. They need no adding. Periodical. Except when you are asking questions or needing datas.
  10. Never never never speak sex talk. Peoples simply not care about sex in my life.
  11. Only your blog is for selling things. Your words, really darlings. Let’s be honest. You want money. Just ask them. They will give even you don’t write much. It save time. Be honest to your reader. He love honest.
  12. PS I know was ten, but this one really important and I forgetting before: Don’t be NICE. Is too much nice. Yuck. Make me feel sick like big vanilla sponge cake all cream.
  13. Don’t let too much peoples have your blog address. This is making more hard works for you with comets, know I mean? I’m tell Cathy she is not printing this address.

Good  luck darlings. I know you are all triple ‘l’ brillliant but sorry I am not having energy to respond every your thinkkings.

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Posted in Writing
10 comments on “GUEST POST: Angella Scintilla Haloumni on 10 dos and don’ts for new bloggers
  1. Tanya says:

    I am inspired to paint God above sending his angels down in pink polysowester dresses for making complex dance. Really enjoyed this
    advice especially as for a moment I was considering a visual blog but now I am certain I just can’t, it’s a bad idea coz I love vanilla sponge cake all cream…

  2. Cathy Dreyer says:

    Angella’s gone back to her planet now. Cyberspace is safe, at least for a while. And, if you have stuff you want to put out there, then blogging is one of the most rewarding and enjoyable ways to do that. Yes, it is exposing. But isn’t that the point? I look forward to your interpretation. You’re welcome to guest blog here. I am very inclusive, as you see. Cathy x

    • Tanya says:

      Thank you Cathy, I am working up to it… By the way, talking of newish forms of exposure, last friday evening a man sat next to me on the bus. There was very little room as my dog was tucked under my feet. He grunted. sat down and a few minutes later held up his iphone with a message on his yellow notepad that said, “bloody selfish bringing a dog on the bus on a busy friday night”. I laughed at first, it was ridiculous a grown man in a suit sitting there with his poxy message directed at me. Then I felt angry and told him what he was doing felt like being flashed at, to which he accused me of offending him and I replied, it was intentional please sit somewhere else. As he stood up to move I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring. Hard to believe. Have you ever come across such a thing? P.S I think your blog is a tremendous achievement, Tanya x

  3. Cathy Dreyer says:

    Crikey, Tanya. I think it just goes to show there’s more out than in! Fanx for your kind words. ‘Preciate. Cx

  4. Brad Geagley says:

    Hilarious! I think I worked for her in Hollywood, dahrrlink…

  5. I am going to follow ALL OF HER ADVICE.

  6. Cathy Dreyer says:

    Oh – I thought you were? 🙂

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