sweary classics


Love the BBC’s sweary classics gimmick. Can’t wait until Sunday night on Radio 3 at 8pm. Wuthering Heights with –  shhhh –  ‘foul language’ as the Daily Mail clucks.

Of course, it’s nothing new. Here’s one they made earlier: Blue Peter

Word has it there are also plans afoot to revive  Radio 4’s surrealist classic o f the 1970s, Listen With Mother, but in a more naturalistic style: ‘F*cking shut it you little c**ts and pass me my f*cking works now.’

And while we’re on Radio 4, The Archers will be getting even more down and dirty than usual:  ‘You may be a f**cking cow, Caroline, but that’s no reason for my husband the vet to put his hand up your ****.’

Even Tolstoy is not immune. I have seen development script f or Anna Karenina: ‘All happy families are f*cking useless for stories. Every unhappy family is a f*cking goldmine.’

Let me know if you are aware of any others. I’ll be really f*cking grateful.

Cathy x

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3 comments on “sweary classics
  1. Tanya says:

    WOW! I love this post. I woke up at 5am thinking about Process and Time and that kind of thing and scribbled down some notes to write to you later only to discover your Sweary Classics piece which is F-ing hilarious, so looking forward to Sunday too. (Some Limericks, collected by Norman Douglas, published by Atlas Press and available from bookartbookshop £10, is the swearyist read I ever had)

    This will seem a little out of place as a comment but tell me if I should have posted it elsewhere. I am going to quote from Utopia, by Thomas More (1478-1535), because I was touched by his letter to his publisher apologising for taking so long writing his book but he has been very busy with the day job and then “You see, when I come home, I’ve got to talk to my wife, have a chat with the children & discuss things with my servants. I count this as one of my commitments as it is absolutely necessary if I’m not to be a stranger in my own home, besides one should always try to be nice to the people one lives with… the days, the months, the years slip by… the only time I ever get to myself is what I steal from sleep and meals… so my progress has been slow – but there has at least been some, I’ve finally finished Utopia, and I’m sending it to you, my dear Peter… Best wishes etc… and please go on liking me as much as ever – because I like you even more than ever. ”

    For me the phrase LESS IS MORE, has always referred to a minimalist aesthetic, which is not my cup of tea at all but perhaps it means something else when you consider all the things worthy of your attention as a human being and how doing less doesn’t make what you do any less good. I think the constraints thrown up by life are very useful for developing a process for working, that becomes your way, the only way. Tx

  2. Cathy Dreyer says:

    That is – that is – so to the point I am almost speechless. Don’t go into sales ever, oh you are in sales, but what I mean is after our conversation I was nerving myself for gush and here you are all intellectual and reassuring and flattering – me and Thomas More – so much in common. Thank you, thank you. I will think on this.

    I think I had gone part way down the road feeling less stressed about lack of progress as so much in my life is so good and I think if I had more time and fewer or no people I love in my life how would I feel then even if I had published a million best sellers? Of course, both is the best thing and that’s what I’m doing … so I better get on and do it.

    As Brian Cox says <> there is only one moment and that moment is now …

    Cathy x

    • Tanya says:

      That was very enjoyable Cathy and I look forward to having more thoughts and feelings inspired by what you are doing. Tx
      (P.S I hope you buy that f****ing book after all the time I…!)

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